I can't let you do this
by Notsolittlec
Summary: Season 9 Episode 6 - Dean is dropping Cas off in the car for his date.


"I can't let you do this" Dean said quickly, almost angrily.

Cas froze, disrupted by this unexpected outburst, and turned to look at Dean. He was gripping the steering wheel of the Impala so tightly that he could see the movements in Dean's wrist and hand muscles and the faint outline of the vein on his forearm pulsating in the silence. Castiel closed the passenger door, the sound of the clean hit against the door frame cut the tense atmosphere Dean had created like a butcher's cleaver. Dean continued to look away from him, as his eyes flickered desperately from one item to the next. Despite his time as a human, Cas still hadn't learned to understand the intricacies of human behaviour and emotion. He studied the side of Dean's face repeatedly, trying to understand what was causing him so much distress. Dean finally turned to face him, to see the familiar, confused, almost saddened, squint-like expression on his face.

"Dean" Cas said, "what's the matter?"

Dean's mouth opened and closed several times, in between exasperated breaths as he struggled to find the words to explain.

"GODDAMN it, Cas!" Dean shouted, as he quickly gripped the wheel even tighter with his left hand and punched it with his right.

"You know I'm no good at this... You know... This 'feelings' crap. That's what Sammy does. Sammy gets all emotional with the clients and I do all the work!" Dean said, with a half-smile, trying to lighten the unbearable tension in the car.

"I'm afraid I don't understand." Cas replied, failing to notice this subtle attempt at humour, with an ever-growing look of confusion.

"God! What I mean is... I... I think that... I..." Dean looked imploringly into Cas' eyes, hoping that he would understand without him having to finish the sentence. Cas met his stare directly, noticing the bead of sweat trickling down Dean's forehead and passing over his flustered, reddened cheeks.

"I just..." Dean's eyes flickered, his gaze oscillating between Cas' eyes and his mouth.

"Look Dean, I've really got to g-..." Before he could finish his sentence, Dean lunged quickly across the space between them, holding the side of Cas's face with his left hand, guiding his head to meet Dean's lips for an intense kiss. Dean felt as if he were beginning to melt away, the softness of Cas's lips pressed up against his sent him into a state of pure nirvana. Cas had never experienced anything like this before. As they kissed, he experienced the sense of every molecule of feeling in their lips. He could feel every movement of skin against skin, the sound of the blood rushing through their bodies; he breathed in through his nose and could smell every inch of Dean, in this one moment, he felt almost part of Dean. He felt ethereal. After what seemed like an eternity in this state of bliss, Dean broke off the kiss and breathed a heavy sigh of release. He opened his eyes and looked directly into Cas' sapphire blue eyes, only mere centimetres apart. Cas could see his own reflection in the jet-black abyss of Dean's dilated pupils that glistened next to the vibrant green of his iris. Dean's mouth began to open, but before he had the chance Cas had moved in and returned the kiss. As they continued, Dean's hand moved from the angles of his jaw, to the thickness of his hair where he caressed the back of his head, pulling them closer to each other. Cas' hand began to fumble with the upper buttons of Dean's shirt when Dean pulled away, and began to kiss down the concave of Cas' neck. The kisses sent shivers through all his muscles as his body began to tense up, and his hands became clumsy and unable to manoeuvre their way through Dean's buttons.

Abruptly, Dean pulled away from him, causing Cas to open his eyes, and look towards Dean; curious for an explanation. Dean rotated in his seat, to be facing the rear of the car, and pulled the lever to recline his seat to almost horizontal. Dean clambered over the shape of the leather seat, to reach the seats in the rear of the Impala. He turned to face Cas, whose face still housed a look of utter confusion. Dean sighed with, a childish giggle. Leaning forward, he extended his arm to reach out and grab Cas' hand. With their fingers intertwined, he tugged gently on Cas' hand, attempting to lead him to the rear of the car to join him. The corners of Cas' mouth began to curl with a devious grin has he finally understood what he was doing. Cas let himself be pulled by Dean, over the seat, into the back. Dean began to lay himself down, on the seat and with their hands still locked together, he pulled Cas down on top of him. The impact of Cas landing down on top of Dean caused him to take a sharp intake of breath; he'd never experienced the weight of a fully grown man on top of him, let alone one rhythmically grinding up against and over his body. While continuing to kiss him, Cas managed to undo the final button on Dean's shirt. He sat upright and whilst perched on Dean's crotch, he pulled Dean up from lying down, just enough to be able to pull his shirt down slowly, from his shoulders, past his elbows and off completely, allowing the fabric to glide along the texture of his skin, with Cas' coarse hands, tickling against the hairs on his arms, sending ripples of goose-bumps throughout his body. Dean sat upright, tearing off Cas' blue waistcoat quickly and throwing it to the floor. Dean started to kiss him again, whilst rapidly undoing the buttons on Cas' shirt and pulling it off him. He began to reach his arms up, around Cas' stomach, up his back and resting his hands against is shoulder blades, pulling his body in closer, feeling the heavy beating of each other's hearts as they pressed chest to chest. With their bodies entwined, Cas began to lean forward; pushing Dean's bare back against the cold leather seat. He began to plant kisses down Dean's neck, kissing down in a line, tracing the contours of his torso as the moonlight danced upon his skin, casting flickering shadows across the crevices in his muscles, undoing the buckle of Dean's belt as he moved slowly and purposefully down his body. With his belt open, Cas slid his hand across his stomach and down, beneath Dean's underwear taking Dean in his hand and beginning to move rhythmically, up and down, in the small space between Cas' hand and his own body. Cas' touch sent Dean into a state of ecstasy, his breath becoming short and rapid as his heart began to race, pumping the blood excitedly around his body. Cas then moved, down his body, with his hands either side of Dean's legs, kissing along his lower abdomen, and then began to take Dean's erection into his mouth. Held there in overwhelming bliss, Dean's breathing was held in stasis; his pelvic muscles tensing and relaxing sporadically with no control over the convulsions of his body. Unable to find anything to control his body, or to hold on to, his hands moved into Cas' hair; fluctuating between running his hands through it, guiding his head gently, up and down and gripping it involuntarily roughly from incredible pleasure. Cas lifted his head up and looked up to Dean intensely. They seemed to have an entire conversation together just through their eyes, without uttering a word. Dean sat up and leant forward over the front seat, to open the glove compartment to procure something, something that Cas couldn't see. Dean returned to him, and began to unbuckle Cas' belt, then pulled his trousers and underwear off completely, doing the same for himself. Dean pushed Cas down onto the length of the back seats, and moved to be kneeling in between where Cas' feet lay on the seat. Dean rested the palm of his hands against the back of Cas' thighs, just above his knees and slowly pushed them back to touch his own chest. He leaned down to kiss Cas, whilst adjusting his position accordingly to curl his lower body around the shape of Cas' rear. With a sharp intake of breath and a cold, odd sensation on his skin, Cas suddenly realised what Dean had retrieved from the glove compartment: lube. After a few minutes of applying it to himself and Cas, he had gotten used to the unusual sensation and Dean began to try and enter him.

"Dean!" Cas said quickly with a short breath, placing his hand firmly on the side of Dean's neck. Dean stopped abruptly and looked directly into his eyes. After a long pause, Dean began to move again, tentatively, gently, careful not to hurt Cas, into him. He watched the expression on Cas' face move from a wince, his eyes beginning to squint; wrinkled at the corners, his jaw locked tightly, until Dean was fully inside Cas and watched his jaw drop and his eyes close completely as he threw his head backwards against the seat with a gruff, breathy moan. Cas tried to control his breathing as Dean began to move forwards and backwards, in and out, pushing hard against Cas' behind, but Cas was incapable of any control. Grunting, moaning and breathing loudly as the skin on his back rubbed against the leather seat with every movement. Dean started to move more quickly, his breath accelerating in cohesion, as beads of sweat began to trickle down his forehead as the temperature in the cramped Impala rose significantly. Dean alternated between rapid movements and slow, rough, arching thrusts, curling into the shape of Cas' body and kissing him, their bodies moving responsively to each other. Dean then reached down between Cas' legs and began to stroke his shaft, up and down in synchrony with every thrust. The feeling that had first been painful and uncomfortable, now coupled with this sensation was complete unadulterated satisfaction for Cas. His hands searched desperately for something to grip onto to release the tension in his muscles building in his state of euphoria. As the pace continued to escalate, both Dean and Cas began to moan louder, as their breathing became increasingly erratic.  
"Dean… I… I'm" Cas, stammered between quick breaths.  
"I know, me too." Dean said with a smirk. He could feel the blood flow pulsating quicker and quicker through the veins on the shaft of Cas' dick. In one final motion of overwhelming pleasure, they both reached climax almost simultaneously as Dean collapsed down onto Cas in utter exhaustion burying his face into his neck. They both lay there in silence, their chests raising and falling as they tried to regain a steady breath. Finally, Dean sat up, and moved towards the glove compartment once more, retrieving yet another item Cas couldn't see. Dean turned to face him, holding a box of tissues.  
"You might wanna… you know, clean yourself up?" he said, hesitating on every word as if he couldn't believe he was saying them. Cas took the box of tissues, beginning to laugh as he began to wipe the evidence of what had just happened away whilst Dean returned to the rear seat, reclining against the back corner of the seat. Cas turned his head, to look at Dean, and without saying anything, moved to lie down, in front of Dean, leaning his torso back against his. He placed Dean's arms around his stomach and rested his own arms on top of his.  
"Look Cas, I-…"  
"Don't." Dean stopped suddenly. "Dean. Just, don't say anything."  
He lay there, open mouthed, sorting through the tirades of thoughts raging through his mind about what he and Cas had just done, when he was stopped quickly mid-thought, by the touch of Cas' fingers meandering their way between his own and gripping tightly. Dean began to realise, that no matter what it 'meant', or what was going to happen, he didn't care. In all the years of his life, since Lawrence when he was young, through everything that had happened. For the first time, he felt safe; and that was enough.


End file.
